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Sitting alone at the end of the river

The title might feel odd and annoying, & people might judge the loners after reading it, but that’s okay. Being alone makes you more robust, focused, and gift you a vibe of self-approbation. It is like a journey, where you go through struggles, where you have to hold & control yourself from falling. And sometimes we fall, we fail to achieve our goals, but we don’t lose anything, we actually learn, & we can always try again. I am aware that time is limited, but if we don’t spend our time to achieve those goals, what are we doing?

I understand that as a human, we are not supposed to be alone and vessel our thoughts, & we are supposed to communicate. But I find very few who want to help or understand or listen to somebody’s else problem. I am aware that talking about our problem with someone really helps and it actually helps us in reducing that weight over our shoulders, but sometimes we should keep that weight, do a set of squats and it will make your legs pumped up (metaphor), in a nutshell, be more potent.

I was in school when I found my self alone. Nobody wanted to talk to me just because of my lack of intellect and my unusual way of speaking. I was weird. And this world doesn’t accept people who are funny, who are different from the people who they usually meet. College was a total game changer for me where I found some people who don’t hate me, who didn’t find my unusual way of speaking oddly. They accepted me with open hands and flying colors. But the majority of the others hated me, judged me about who I was, and that’s okay because now it doesn’t matter and I don’t care.

I have been through a lot of moments where I was embarrassed just because I said something irrelevant and weird in a presentation or a psychology class, and it haunts me whenever I think about it, it makes me cringe & give me goosebumps. And I have been capturing those thoughts for years and years, and they have made me stronger, over some time. I am aware that we are supposed to live a regret free life, but it doesn’t work that way. Grief can only be stopped by just living carefree.

The best thing about being lonely is just that it comes with great focus. You don’t have anybody to disturb you, to ring your phone, to ping you perpetually. So you can set your goals in peace, plan your future, and accomplish again and again.

The road might look dusty and lengthy when you start walking alone, but in the end, you will be robust and a better version of who you were yesterday.

Online Writer | Video Editor | Social Media and Designing | www.himalrustagi.com

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